


don't blow those pipes

by kiranerys42



Series: Musician Patrick [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Humor, M/M, Music, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25623373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiranerys42/pseuds/kiranerys42
Summary: Patrick picks up another new instrument. David is not thrilled.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Musician Patrick [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857376
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	don't blow those pipes

**Author's Note:**

> Randomly remembered I wrote this little prompt fill a few weeks ago for [yourbuttervoicedbeau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau), although "a few weeks ago" feels kind of like "seven years ago" right now because time has no meaning. Anyway, I decided I liked it enough to stick it on AO3, so... here it is.

“No. No. This is—completely unacceptable,” David said.

Patrick gazed up at David from where he sat on the couch, his eyes wide.

“Oh? What’s unacceptable?” Patrick blinked innocently, as if he had _no_ idea what he’d done wrong. David wasn’t buying it.

“Um, _this_.” David gestured in Patrick’s general direction. “Me, coming home from work to find you on the couch with…“

“David, there’s nothing to be jealous of here. I’ll always love you more.”

“I’m not worried you’re going to _leave me_ for the—the—“ David couldn’t say it. He _couldn’t_. “I just don’t want them _in the house._ ”

“But Nikhil can’t make it to our next concert, so Morgan asked if I’d give it a try. We _really_ need the—”

“ _Don’t_ ,” David interrupted. “Don’t say it.”

“David,” Patrick pleaded, and—oh no. Patrick’s eyes grew even wider, and his mouth opened slightly, and David knew he was done for. He couldn’t say no, not when Patrick looked like _that_. “Please? I only need to practice for a few more minutes.”

“Fine,” David sighed. “Just—let me put in my noise canceling headphones first. I don’t need to hear you play…” David waved his hands at the instrument in Patrick’s hands. 

“Uilleann pipes,” Patrick supplied.

“You—what? Those… those are bagpipes.”

“Yes, they’re a type of bagpipe. Unlike what you traditionally think of as ‘bagpipes,’ these are played by squeezing bellows instead of with a blowpipe.”

“So you’re telling me that you don’t blow those bagpipes.”

“That is correct.”

“Well. At least I don’t need to be jealous.” 

“Absolutely not. Don’t worry, when I’m done squeezing Matilda, I can come squeeze you.” And then, as if what he’d just said wasn’t bad enough, Patrick _winked_. 

“Oh my _god_. You really need to stop naming your instruments.” And with that, David ran off to go find his noise-canceling headphones. He’s pretty sure he left them in the bedroom this morning.

He hopes Patrick didn’t hide them.


End file.
